Ravi Ravi Ravi Ravi

With apologies to the Kaiser Chiefs

Let it never be said

That Ravi’s test career is dead

‘Cause there’s so little else

Occupying my head

There is nothing I need

Except the function to Boplieve

But I’m not really fussed (about Taylor)

Doesn’t matter about rank, all one needs to do is Boplieve

Ravi, Ravi, Ravi, Ravi

Do you, do you, do you, do you

Know what you’re doing, doing, to me?

Ravi, Ravi, Ravi, Ravi

Due to lack of a test

Tomorrow’s Ravi watch is cancelled

Let the clocks be reset

And the pendulums held

‘Cause there’s nothing at all

Except the space in-between

Finding out what you’ve been recalled

And repeating your name

Could it be, could it be

That they’re joking with thee?

And they don’t really see you and the ECB

Could it be, could it be

That they’re joking with me?

And they don’t really see you in the team?

Ravi, Ravi, Ravi, Ravi

Do they, do they, do they, do they

Know what you’re doing, doing, to me?

Ravi, Ravi, Ravi, Ravi

Do they, do they, do they, do they

Know what you’re doing, doing, to me?

I thought your talent was just a fairytale…

War of the Worlds (Essex edition)

No one would have believed in the last days before the ashes that the Essex County Ground was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man’s and yet as mortal as his own (the national cricket press); that as men busied themselves about their various concerns about the first class nature of this fixture, they were scrutinised and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might scrutinise the transient creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water from the river Can.

With infinite complacency( about Tom Craddock) they went to and fro over this division 2 ground about their little affairs, serene in their assurance of their empire over the local press (who were forced into the elements). It is possible that the infusoria under the microscope do the same. No one gave a thought to the older worlds of county cricket as sources of danger to Ian Bell’s confidence, or thought of them only to dismiss the idea that Essex have some decent players among their ranks as impossible or improbable.

Tom Craddock flies into action and nearly holds on to a Pietersen Chance.

It is curious to recall some of the mental habits of those departed days. At most the national press fancied there might be other cricketers in division two, perhaps inferior to themselves and ready to welcome a cursory paragraph summation once a season.

Yet across the gulf of the A12, minds that are to our minds as ours are to those of the beasts that perish, intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic, regarded this fixture with envious eyes, and slowly and surely drew their plans against England. And early in the twentieth century came the great disillusionment as Mills bowled at 94mph….

I’m a Bopliever….

Ravi Bopara (original source: http://bit.ly/1agNAMe)

I thought his talent was only true in fairy tales
Meant for county cricket  but not for England.
Willis was out to get him
That’s the way it seemed.
Disappointment haunted him in all his dreams.

Then I saw him bowl, now I’m a Bopliever
Not a trace of doubt in my mind.
I’m in love, I’m a Bopiever!
I couldn’t leave him (outside off) if I tried.

I thought his lack of results was more or less a given thing,
Seems the more he gave the less we got.
What’s the use in his tryin’?
All he got was pain.
When he needed sunshine twitter gave him rain.

Then I saw him bat, now I’m a Bopliever
Not a trace of doubt in my mind.
I’m in awe, I’m a Bopliever!
I couldn’t leave him (outside off) if I tried