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Going On A Blair Hunt

“Chil-chil-chil-chil-Chilcot. Chil-chil-chil-chil-Chilcot.”

We’re going on a Blair hunt.
We’re going to catch a PM
What a beautiful day!
We’re not scared.

Uh-uh! Iran-Iraq war
Long wavy battlefields
One million dead

We can’t go over it.
We can’t go under it.
Oh no!
We’ve got to go through it!

Swishy Swashy!
Swishy Swashy!
Swishy Swashy!

“Chil-chil-chil-chil-Chilcot. Chil-chil-chil-chil-Chilcot.”

We’re going on a Blair hunt.
We’re going to catch a PM.
What a beautiful day!
We’re not scared.

Uh-uh! Halabja
A deep cold gas cloud
Thousands dead

We can’t go over it.
We can’t go under it.
Oh no!
We’ve got to go through it!
Dive in!

Splash splosh!
Splash splosh!
Splash splosh!

“Chil-chil-chil-chil-Chilcot. Chil-chil-chil-chil-Chilcot.”

We’re going on a Blair hunt.
We’re going to catch a PM.
What a beautiful day!
We’re not scared.

Uh-uh! Kuwait
Thick oozy oilfields
Set on fire by retreating occupying forces

We can’t go over it.
We can’t go under it.
Oh no!
We’ve got to go through it!

Squelch squelch!
Squelch squelch!
Squelch squelch!

“Chil-chil-chil-chil-Chilcot. Chil-chil-chil-chil-Chilcot.”

We’re going on a Blair hunt.
We’re going to catch a PM.
What a beautiful day!
We’re not scared.

Uh-uh! The 1991 uprising!
A big dark uprising!
Tens of thousands killed

We can’t go over it.
We can’t go under it.
Oh no
We’ve got to go through it!

Stumble trip!
Stumble trip!
Stumble trip!

“Chil-chil-chil-chil-Chilcot. Chil-chil-chil-chil-Chilcot.”

We’re going on a Blair hunt.
We’re going to catch a PM
What a beautiful day!
We’re not scared.

Uh-uh! Dujail!
A swirling whirling massacre
148 murdered

We can’t go over it.
We can’t go under it.
Oh no!
We’ve got to go through it!

Hoooo woooo!
Hoooo woooo!
Hoooo woooo!

“Chil-chil-chil-chil-Chilcot. Chil-chil-chil-chil-Chilcot.”

We’re going on a Blair hunt.
We’re going to catch a PM.
What a beautiful day!
We’re not scared.

Uh!-uh! violated UN Security Council Resolutions
14 violated UN Security Council Resolutions

We can’t go over it.
We can’t go under it.
Oh no!
We’ve got to go through it!

Tiptoe!
Tiptoe!
Tiptoe!

What’s that?One shiny smile?
Two ears!
Two big googly eyes!
IT’S A BLAIR !!!

Quick!
Back through the violated UN Security Council Resolutions!
Tiptoe! Tiptoe! Tiptoe!

Back through the Dujail massacre!
Hoooo woooo!  Hoooo woooo!  Hoooo woooo!

Back through the 1991 uprising
Stumble trip! Stumble trip! Stumble trip!

Back through Kuwait!
Squelch squelch! Squelch squelch! Squelch squelch!

Back through Halabja!
Dive in!
Splash splosh!  Splash splosh! Splash splosh!

Back through the Iran-Iraq war!
Swishy swashy!  Swishy swashy!  Swishy swashy!

Down the road.
Get to our front door.
Open the door.
Up the stairs.
Du-du-du-du-du-du-dup.

Oh no!
We forgot to shut the door.
Back downstairs.
Du-du-du-du-du-du-dup.
Shut the door.

Back upstairs.
Du-du-du-du-du-du-dup.
Along the passage.

Into the bedroom.
Into bed.
Under the covers.
We’re not going on a Blair hunt again.

201623-Gordon-Brown-medium

What’s next?

Where does the United Kingdom go from here? Can the United Kingdom even endure? the fact that question is even being contemplated again after appearing to have been settled in a “once in a generation” referendum on Scottish independence in 2014 is a measure of just how far down the rabbit hole UK politics has gone.

I voted remain (big surprise) because I thought that short, medium and long-term effects on the economy that a leave vote would ensue was not a risk worth taking for any of the supposed benefits that the leave campaign had outlined. There was also the obvious (to me anyway) contradiction in the campaign of voting to “leave and take back control” and the vision campaigned for by the likes of Boris Johnson, Michael Gove and Dan Hannan. The social conservatism on the one hand and the economic liberalism (without the ensuing political and legal union that enables it) of the Vote Leave campaign is very probably going to be played out. A lot of voters backed leave thinking it would mean reduced immigration and a lot of voters backed leave because they wanted to be “free from the diktat of Brussels (but not the military alliance based outside Brussels we still like that apparently).

To add to this coalition of contradictions we also now have a situation in Scotland where a large number of voters are prepared to leave a political and economic (including fiscal) union and want to join another political and economic (including fiscal) union.

So at the moment this a country that knows far more about the thing that divides it than it does about any of the things that unite it. It is a country who has just voted to divorce itself from a European Union that its allies wanted the UK to remain in and leading from the front. The economic and political future of the country is in turmoil and there are very scared people living, working and contributing to life in the UK who are now seeing people emboldened by the result screaming abuse at them because of where they happened to be born and their accent. The situation looks more uncertain and to a large extent bleaker than they were a week ago.

Where does the country go from here?

Well first and foremost I hope and pray that any and all racist incidents are dealt with in the sternest possible manner by the police. No matter what the result the country has to be clear that racism has no place in our society and that we must always be vigilant against this.

Secondly I endorse the view of Jeremy Clarkson (which again is another sign of how weird things have become)

Given the scale of the challenges ahead I will try and do my best to think along those lines and roll my sleeves up and get to work. I believe it represents the best way of ensuring that the union has a chance of surviving. To that end we need to ensure that the leadership issues in the Conservative and Labour parties are settled in such a way that both parties are in as strong a position as possible. The Conservatives need to somehow avoid tearing themselves apart over Europe (not sure how they best go about this just right now though) and the Labour party, a much more united party on Europe than their opponents, need to unite on Europe too.

To that end I believe that the election of a life-long Eurosceptic MP last summer was a mistake. It was even more of a mistake of the membership (of which I am a member and a minority voice for I voted for Liz Kendall) to not focus on the issue of Europe, knowing that there was to be a referendum with larger implications from the country that had to take place by the end of 2017, some three years before the next scheduled general election. Yes the pain of the election defeat was still raw but, given the responsibility of electing a leader of the opposition, the membership ended up electing the one candidate who would oppose the government on the one issue that the membership overwhelmingly wanted it to stand shoulder to shoulder with: membership of the European Union.

The remain cause was undermined by the leader consistently attacking the EU at a time when the campaign needed a leader who did not view the EU as a neo-liberal empire. Today’s no confidence vote from Labour’s MEPs is a testament to the strength of feeling that exists in the party about the leader’s attitude and application during the most important election in the UK in over 40 years. Labour needs to be as united on Europe as possible now that the vote has happened and campaign for investment in the UK to counter the negative effects of the decision to leave. The country needs its government and opposition parties united and focused upon the challenge at hand. Neither parties can be focused upon pursuing narrow ideologies, both must be looking to the future. As a Labour member I hope that future is without a leader who helped to put our country in this mess. I believe is a time for Clement Attlees and Ernest Bevins, not Arthur Hendersons.

Now let’s roll up those sleeves and get to work.

All Behind You Winston

Infamy v 1.0

Archived version
Up-to-date Specator version
A Day of Infamy

Events have a multiplier effect. And when they come in bunches the effect can be overpowering. This was already a sad and demeaning day, even before we heard the ghastly news a Labour MP, Jo Cox, had been murdered outside her constituency surgery in Yorkshire.

Politics is, figuratively speaking, a contact sport. It is a hard business because it is an important business. It matters and it matters even more when the stakes are so very high. But just as class will out at the highest level in sport, when the stakes are the very greatest and everything seems to be on the line, so character reveals itself in politics too. Even, especially, when it really counts.
A referendum is one of those moments when it counts. There is no do-over, no consoling thought in defeat that, at least, there’s always next season. No, defeat is permanent and for keeps. That’s why a referendum is so much uglier than a general election. The ‘wrong’ people often win an election but their victory is only – and always – temporary. There will be another day, another time. An election is a negotiation; a referendum is a judgement with no court of appeal. So character reveals itself. The poster unveiled by Nigel Farage this morning marked a new low, even for him.

The mask – the pawky, gin o’clock, you know what I mean, mask – didn’t slip because there was no mask at all. BREAKING POINT, it screamed above a queue of dusky-hued refugees waiting to cross a border. The message was not very subtle: Vote Leave, Britain, or be over-run by brown people. Take control. Take back our country. You know what I mean, don’t you: If you want a Turk – or a Syrian – for a neighbour, vote Remain. Simple. Common sense. Innit?

And then this afternoon, a 42 year old member of parliament, who happens – and this may prove to have been more than a coincidence – to have been an MP who lobbied for Britain to do more to assist the desperate people fleeing Syria’s charnel house, was shot and stabbed and murdered.
Events have a multiplier effect.

It’s not Nigel Farage’s fault Jo Cox is dead. It’s not Boris Johnson’s fault either. Nor is it the fault of Michael Gove or Dan Hannan or anyone else campaigning for Britain to leave the European Union. Most of these people (there is a glaring exception), like most of the people who will vote Leave next week, are decent and honourable people making an argument they sincerely (there may be one exception to this, too) believe is in the best interests of the United Kingdom. They are not responsible for Jo Cox’s death. The murderer is the only person responsible for that.

But if – as seems likely – the murderer had what are coyly referred to as ties to the far-right, if, as seems all too grimly probable, he was motivated by a hatred of what he felt Britain had become. If, as several witnesses have claimed, he shouted Britain First as he attacked Jo Cox, then it is reasonable – and necessary – to ask where he came from.

We hope, because doing so offers a shred of comfort even in horrid moments, that he was just a ‘lone wolf’ or a lunatic acting alone. We hope so because hoping that makes it easier to say, once the shock has worn off, that this was a singular event of the sort that cannot be predicted. Sometimes terrible things happen.
Well, so they do. But we know that even lone lunatics don’t live in a bubble. They are influenced by outside events. That’s why, when there is an act of Islamist terrorism, we quite rightly want to know if it was, implicitly or explicitly, encouraged by other actors. We do not believe – at least we should not – in collective guilt or punishment but we do want to know, with reason, whether an individual assassin was inspired by ideology or religion or hate-speech or any of a hundred other possible motivating factors. We do not hold all muslims accountable for the violence carried out in the name of their prophet but nor can we avoid the ugly, unpalatable, truth that, as far as the perpetrator is concerned, he (it is almost always he) is acting in the service of his view of his religion. He has a cause, no matter how warped it may be. And so we ask who influenced him? We ask, how did it come to this?

So, no, Nigel Farage isn’t responsible for Jo Cox’s murder. And nor is the Leave campaign. But they are responsible for the manner in which they have pressed their argument. They weren’t to know something like this was going to happen, of course, and they will be just as shocked and horrified by it as anyone else.
But, still. Look. When you encourage rage you cannot then feign surprise when people become enraged. You cannot turn around and say, ‘Mate, you weren’t supposed to take it so seriously. It’s just a game, just a ploy, a strategy for winning votes.’

When you shout BREAKING POINT over and over again, you don’t get to be surprised when someone breaks. When you present politics as a matter of life and death, as a question of national survival, don’t be surprised if someone takes you at your word. You didn’t make them do it, no, but you didn’t do much to stop it either.
Sometimes rhetoric has consequences. If you spend days, weeks, months, years telling people they are under threat, that their country has been stolen from them, that they have been betrayed and sold down the river, that their birthright has been pilfered, that their problem is they’re too slow to realise any of this is happening, that their problem is they’re not sufficiently mad as hell, then at some point, in some place, something or someone is going to snap. And then something terrible is going to happen.

We can’t control the weather but, in politics, we can control the climate in which the weather happens. That’s on us, all of us, whatever side of any given argument we happen to be. Today, it feels like we’ve done something terrible to that climate.
Sad doesn’t begin to cover it. This is worse, much worse, than just sad. This is a day of infamy, a day in which we should all feel angry and ashamed. Because if you don’t feel a little ashamed – if you don’t feel sick, right now, wherever you are reading this – then something’s gone wrong with you somewhere.

Jo Cox was, by all accounts, a fine parliamentarian and a fine woman. She has been taken from her family and her constituents but her death strips something from all of us as well. I cannot recall ever feeling worse about this country and its politics than is the case right now.

Events have a multiplier effect. So do feelings.

Moeen

Moeen , Moeen, Moeen, Moeen,
I’m begging of you please don’t hit it to third man
Moeen, Moeen, Moeen, Moeen
Please don’t take deliveries outside off just because you can

Your driving is beyond compare
With flowing blacklift beyond compare
And dreamy pulls and of emerald green

Your smile is like a breath of spring
Your voice is soft like summer rain
And James Tredwell cannot compete with you, Jolene

He talks about you in his sleep
There’s nothing I can do to keep
From crying when he calls your name, Jolene

And I can easily understand
How you could easily take my man
But you don’t know what he means to me, Jolene

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I’m begging of you please don’t take my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please don’t take him just because you can

You could have your choice of men
But I could never love again
He’s the only one for me, Jolene

I had to have this talk with you
My happiness depends on you
And whatever you decide to do, Jolene

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I’m begging of you please don’t take my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please don’t take him even though you can
Jolene, Joleneng of you please don’t hit to third  my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please don’t take him just because you can
Your beauty is beyond compare
With flaming locks of auburn hair
With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green

Your smile is like a breath of spring
Your voice is soft like summer rain
And I cannot compete with you, Jolene

He talks about you in his sleep
There’s nothing I can do to keep
From crying when he calls your name, Jolene

And I can easily understand
How you could easily take my man
But you don’t know what he means to me, Jolene

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I’m begging of you please don’t take my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please don’t take him just because you can

You could have your choice of men
But I could never love again
He’s the only one for me, Jolene

I had to have this talk with you
My happiness depends on you
And whatever you decide to do, Jolene

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I’m begging of you please don’t take my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please don’t take him even though you can
Jolene, Jolene

How to wrap text around an image that works with HTML and VML

In my job as a Digital Marketing Coordinator I have to build HTML emails for a range of purposes. Normally we follow a template for these emails with a header image, text and call to action buttons at the end of the email. However I get asked to wrap images within the body of the text occasionally. Whenever this happens I have to spend a long time searching through countless stack overflow posts about wrapping background images in VML etc. So I have decided to post this here in order to jog my memory and also hopefully be of some use to other hapless HTML email designers like myself.

The code in the box below will wrap text around a left-aligned image in both VML and HTML.

<img src="https://uphillintothewind.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/53332213.jpg" alt="" width="289" height="206" align="left" border="0" hspace="15" vspace="15" />

I HATE VML. The person who decided that Outlook should be powered by Microsoft Word rather than Internet Explorer has a place reserved in the 7th level of hell for him.

Too much cricket